Steps for Combating Loneliness

What is loneliness?  When I googled it, this is what I found… “sadness because one has no friends or company.”  Do you experience loneliness?  Do you experience times when you think that you are on your own in figuring this life out?  Do you yearn for deeper relationships than you currently have?  If so, you are not the only one that feels this way.  A recent study by Barna indicates that one in five Americans regularly feels lonely.  The same study even showed that 52% of pastors sometimes to frequently experience loneliness.  So, if you thought all pastors were perfect you may want to rethink that!

This is a problem.  God created us to be relational beings and loneliness is the exact opposite of that.  My pastor, Matt Mason, even spoke to this in his sermon this past week as he explained that loneliness was actually the first problem that creation faced.  God said in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”  We are not meant to be alone or experience loneliness, but how do we combat this?

As we like to do at Unstatus You Quo®, here are a few small steps for combating this issue of loneliness:

Step #1: Pursue a Relationship with God

When many of us experience loneliness, the reason may very well be because we are not spending time with God.  This is where we must start.  We were created to be in relationship with God above all other relationships.  What does your relationship with God look like?  If you need some help getting started, then check out our blog from last week with steps for reading the Bible and connecting with God.  As always, start small, even tiny!

Step #2: Make a List

Get out a sheet of paper and a pen and draw three columns and title the columns as follows:

Column 1: People in My Path

Column 2: People I Can Serve

Column 3: People Who Could Teach Me

Under each one of these columns, take a few minutes and start writing names of people who fit in these categories.  Here's an explanation of the categories…

• People in My Path: These are all the people that you interact with on a weekly basis. These interactions could be over the phone, in person or even through Facebook.  With whom are you frequently interacting? 
• People I Can Serve: Think a little harder about specific people who could benefit from your God-given skills or giftings. This list could be short or long and could include some people from column #1.
• People Who Could Teach Me: This list of mentors or others includes people you want to imitate. These people could be your same age, older or younger.  They can also be in Columns #1 or #2.

Step #3: Pray

If you completed Step #2, then you now have the makings of a pretty good prayer list.  Start praying for these individuals, for God to show you with whom to initiate a conversation and for God to bring you deeper relationships. I did just use the word initiate!  These steps will involve you actually taking the lead!

Step #4: Pick Two and Lead

Choose two of these people from your list to initiate a relationship and to lead in vulnerability--a sign of strength by the way.  If you find people who exist in all three of your columns, then you may want to start with those individuals, or God may show you others to start with.  Either way, start somewhere.  If it doesn’t work out, then choose someone else.  Also, take the lead in being vulnerable.  True, meaningful relationships go deep, and it is up to you to take the relationship there.

Step #5: Keep it Going

So, what happens when this proven process works, and you are no longer lonely?  Keep the process going!  Continue to pursue God, acknowledge people, pray and pursue others.  This life is not about you.  Others are still lonely, and they need you. What a wonderful way to serve others.

The reality is that we must fight for relationships, but the encouraging news is that we don’t fight alone.  Before Jesus breathed his last breath on the cross, he said in Matthew 27:46, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”  In that moment Jesus experienced loneliness.  He made himself lonely so that we would not have to experience loneliness.  Today… start pursuing God and pursuing others.

Noah

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